Monday, August 15, 2005

OshO Jokes on Mother Teresa

That old dried-up prune, Mother Teresa, invites that old rotten fruitcake, Pope the Polack, to come and visit her Bleeding Hearts Home for the Dead and Dying in Calcutta. The Polack is thrilled to receive the invitation, so he gets Cardinal Catzass to pack their bags, and they fly off to India. Their first day is spent touring Mother Teresa's Bleeding Hearts Home, blessing all the half-dead Christian converts. The next morning, the two Catholic cowboys from Rome go out into the streets of Calcutta, to wave at the crowds of starving Hindus. But all day long, Pope the Polack has been acting very strangely. Cardinal Catzass is worried about the old Polack and asks him, "Your Holiness, what is the matter?" "Listen," says the old fruitcake, "as soon as we get back to that Bleeding Hearts Home, the first thing I want to do is rip off Mother Teresa's knickers!" "Really?" replies the shocked cardinal. "Why do you want to do that?" "Because," says the pope with a groan, "they are much too tight for me!"

Joke from OshO

Pope the Polack is on a pilgrimage in Calcutta where he makes an official visit to Mother Teresa's orphanage. Mother Teresa is showing him around, and the Polack is bending and kissing everything in sight. Suddenly, as he bends over to kiss Mother Teresa's pride and joy, the new church organ, the pope recoils in terror. There, stretched out across the top of the organ, is a big black condom. Purple with rage, Pope the Polack demands an explanation from Mother Teresa. "Well," says Mother Teresa, "one of my orphans found it in a package on the street, and when I read the label it said: `Place on organ and feel secure.'"

Joke from OshO

The average mental age of humanity is only thirteen years. This you call evolution? A man is ninety years old, and he has the mind of a thirteen year old. It is because of this retardedness that he believes all kinds of idiotic beliefs, dogmas, religions. He never questions, never inquires, never explores. He does not have consciousness enough to go on a quest for truth. And of course the politicians don't want him to evolve. The priests don't want him to evolve, because man's evolution is their death. An evolved man, a conscious man, has no need of political leaders to tell him what is right and what is wrong. He does not require any pope, any Mother Teresa, any Ayatollah Khomeini, any Shankaracharya. In fact, these people will seem to him retarded. So all the religions and all the political parties of the world are conspiring against humanity. To keep man enslaved, the best way is that he remains a helpless child, always in search of a father figure. In politics he finds father figures. In religion he finds father figures. It is not a coincidence that Christian priests are called fathers.

OshO Joke on Mother Teresa

If people use birth control methods, then from where is Mother Teresa going to find orphans? Her whole business will be finished. And these orphans are being converted into Catholics, so the pope is in absolute support. You give Nobel Prizes to these people who need to be sentenced to prison for their whole life! They are the cause of poverty in the world, they are the cause of the orphans in the world. And they are still free, preaching the same old nonsense. They go on saying God gives children. On what authority do they know it? Have they got any proof, any evidence that God gives children to people? And if God gives children to people, then their God must be absolutely insane. Seeing this earth overpopulated, thousands of people dying, he goes on giving children? There is no God. It is the greatest lie invented by the religions to exploit humanity. And I am surprised.... Mother Teresa has been in correspondence with me. Because I condemned her so much in India, she finally had to write a letter to me in which she said, "It is out of my compassion that I am serving the orphans." I replied to her, "Your compassion is costing too much. You can be compassionate to something else, but please stop this compassion to orphans, and stop talking this nonsense that God gives children." And I wrote to her, "God is omnipotent, all powerful. If he really wants to give children, then he can do anything. What about the Pill? Can't God remove the Pill? God could part the ocean for Moses to move with all his followers; can't he make a passage in the condom? He can part the ocean, he cannot part the condom? So leave it to him. If he wants -- he is all-powerful, all-knowing, present everywhere -- he will do whatsoever he wants to do. Why are you bothering and teaching people against birth control methods?" Her next letter came without any answer to what I had written. She simply wrote, "I will pray to God to forgive you." I had to write to her again: "I have not given you the authority to pray on my behalf. I can sue you in the court. Who are you to pray on my behalf to a God who does not exist? You are interfering with my freedom. Stop praying, at least for me! I do not want anybody's prayer, anybody's forgiveness; I am not committing any sin. Pray for yourself." And that was the end of the correspondence.

31 Comments:

At April 19, 2008 10:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

that sick man osho has no absolute respect for God or the holiness of human life made in the image of God he has no respect for human life or the babies or the orphans that are murdered by abortion

he but obviously was a sexual predator and pervert who started his form religion in order to preach to and get sexual gratification from his young female followers.

 
At June 21, 2008 9:30 AM, Anonymous annie a. Said ...

anon 10:27

Your comment barely warrants a response. Have you noticed? LOL You are simply ignorant of what Osho was all about, but those who know and love him can hardly be bothered with a response to your idiotic comment.

 
At October 18, 2008 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

more osho jokes
http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Jokes/Jokes.htm

 
At November 21, 2008 9:16 AM, Anonymous chakru Said ...

I disagree dude! just accept u don't know anything about OSHO.

 
At December 13, 2008 12:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

OSHO is absolutly right .. got gave all possiblitily to rejoice the life .The religious leaders,
politicians ,priest ,pope,polack insists man to follow . eveyone have an aurthentic life .
why should u follow someone .
why should u interfere with someone freedom.
It shows that these people are not comport with their life .they are enslaving humanity on behalf of god.This is ridigulous.The basic thing is first you know about yourself .Then thins are happen automatically .

 
At January 19, 2009 12:23 PM, Blogger B.Gopinath Said ...

Did She know who a god is...Can she explain? Who she is to pray for him? We even don't know where we are in this Universe...A perfect reply from OSHO....He's a Great man..

 
At January 19, 2009 12:26 PM, Blogger B.Gopinath Said ...

Can Mother Theresa explain who the God is? Can she tell where we are in this Universe...Then how the hell she can pray for OSHO...A perfect reply from a perfect man..

 
At January 26, 2009 12:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

I enjoy Osho alot, but i contradict him in his message against Religion because he seemed to confuse himself...
spreading the message of there is no GOD, and somewhere else GOD is everywhere and his disrepect for religious people and prophets and somewhere else he is defending them...

Worst to come is that his disciples have made him GOD himself...

WOOOOOOw........

He is definitely lost in his ideas...

 
At June 03, 2009 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

osho is none but a false prophet like the old muhammad, he tries to prove himself to be god, what a hell, this man is realy sick, what good has he done to the world after all>
?

 
At June 16, 2009 6:02 AM, Blogger nn Said ...

It's strange that people leaving negative comments are mostly anonymous. Come on now guys and gals...if you're calling Osho sick, at least he has some balls to poke fun at a dilapidated organization. Sexual pervert? Do we even know what that means...I mean come on, don't just put in a definition from Wikipedia... Get a life, live a little :)

 
At October 28, 2009 10:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

He has done great for the world, he helped us live happy and joyful lifes with no worrys and live life to the fullest! and by the way he never claimed to be god, he says you are god, everything is god, and if you have a mind of your own you can see that. OSHO is a great man!

 
At December 26, 2009 4:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

Guys, Its none of our business to judge anyone right or wrong.

Be right to urself. If u r not able to contribute to make this world beautiful atleast do not disturb it.

Anyone who follows any beleifs blindly is immatured.

Thats all i have to say.. byebye

 
At January 10, 2010 3:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

All are sleeping and while i am writing this me too as i am feeling bad after seeing all this crap:

Stop Judging anything: Whatever Mother Teresa was doing was her freedom and whatever Osho was doing was his own: And yes God exists but
he is Nowhere ( Now Here)

 
At March 09, 2010 1:05 PM, Blogger Purestconsciousness Said ...

@ Anonymous: I pity you that you are one of those guys who do not read themselves and rely on what other 100 fools in the world tell you.

Listen to Osho or read him so that you get to know what exactly he said about sex, unlike the backward thinking of catholic Teresa, he advocated to openly discuss about it and not to make it a taboo and also to mention, he said the greatest level of satisfaction lies above the level of sex which you have to pass, whereas this lady was adamant on making people the follower of the pope and was restricting the thinking to what St. Peter's has been saying for the last 100 years.

Did Osho sleep with your mom due to which you are making such a baseless statement about he getting his sexual desires from his female followers? Do not make statements when you do not have facts to prove it.

And in the end, Till current date.Osho has more followers and people appreciate his thinking whereas Mother Teresa's followers are nowhere to be seen.

jai Rajneesh Bhagwan

 
At March 09, 2010 1:05 PM, Blogger Purestconsciousness Said ...

@ Anonymous: I pity you that you are one of those guys who do not read themselves and rely on what other 100 fools in the world tell you.

Listen to Osho or read him so that you get to know what exactly he said about sex, unlike the backward thinking of catholic Teresa, he advocated to openly discuss about it and not to make it a taboo and also to mention, he said the greatest level of satisfaction lies above the level of sex which you have to pass, whereas this lady was adamant on making people the follower of the pope and was restricting the thinking to what St. Peter's has been saying for the last 100 years.

Did Osho sleep with your mom due to which you are making such a baseless statement about he getting his sexual desires from his female followers? Do not make statements when you do not have facts to prove it.

And in the end, Till current date.Osho has more followers and people appreciate his thinking whereas Mother Teresa's followers are nowhere to be seen.

jai Rajneesh Bhagwan

 
At March 19, 2010 7:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

osho says there is no good or bad in this univers...accept the things as they are...then y he is making his on conclusions about mother...?..y he could'nt b a witness in case of mother?...datz ma qustion......am sory to tell that......osho is cheating his followers

 
At March 21, 2010 7:54 PM, Blogger Namik Said ...

TO UNDERSTAND OSHO SOMEONE HAS TO READ MORE OF HIS BOOKS (actually they are recordings of his talks). Many people had misunderstood him, but many intelligent people consider him a genius.
I belive I am one of those people.

 
At March 21, 2010 7:56 PM, Blogger Namik Said ...

OSHO IS ONE OF RARE MINDS OF 20th century, a real genius.

 
At April 19, 2010 3:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

there is no god there is just source consciousness, source energy. the rest are human low intelligence problems, osho was a 7th plane shaktipat master. first achieve this power, look for it on youtube videos and then speak something. we're not interested in your psychological problems. your identity/belief issues

 
At June 11, 2010 3:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

OSHO aka Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (1931-1990) is/was a 'False Prophet'! Do not follow this man's techings or you will waste years of 'this' life.

 
At June 17, 2010 12:14 PM, Blogger Ashutosh Said ...

The question raised seems to be right , the talk against and for is all projection of mind follwed by past teaching and image , OSho seem to be real man ,All enlightened gurus and holy books talk same . to see the depth vision is required ,just swiming on the surface duck cant say the he know the ocean .

Its not projection against mother teressa or in favour of Osho but truth is very clear and its reflect from Osho vision , mother Teressa has done good work but for whom ? who are the orphan , who are you , who is responsible for orphan , from thousand of years people are serving but yet not come to any result , Science is the real solution and all the politician and popes and so called NGO s and guru running these kind of instituation been a problem, and other helping hand unknowingly creating an atmoshphere of poverty and more orphans , defenatelly more awarness is required in vision who cant see it , meditaion would be recomendation .

 
At August 10, 2010 11:00 PM, Anonymous karthikeyan Said ...

what good hav social workers done like mother teresa, all she did her whole life ws conversion, she had even converted a chatholic into roamn chatholic, n said only if ur roman chatholic u can reach the heaven, wat a stupidity, an a man like osho, fearless, straight forward a rebel, ppl cant accept a man like osho, cos he always spks truth, n impotent ppl cant stand it. christ, buddha, mahavira, manzoor, osho n grt master were criticized, jus cos impotent ppl couldnt bear the truth...

 
At October 10, 2010 11:46 AM, Anonymous Chathan.... Said ...

I support OSHO in this issue.....
if Mother Teresa wanted to do all social service .. y d hell she needed publicity.. ?
she could have done it silently....
it was a way to promote religon...
y d hell u people are not thinking otherwisew ?
OSho is great man.. !!!
love you OSHO.....
OSHO.. the man for universe......

 
At December 20, 2010 2:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

Lets take your response one by one

that sick man osho has no absolute respect for God or the holiness of human life made in the image of God
1.)Why should one have absolute respect for GOD, if bloody god created you why the heck should you respect him - just because he is sitting on tree top??

2.) Image of God lol, do u see yourself in Mirror do u think thats god??

he has no respect for human life or the babies or the orphans that are murdered by abortion

1.)What do you mean by respect, holy crusade, holy jihad, atom bomb, Ronald Regan all these people do have respect for human life, I agree Osho does not compared to them.

2.) Come to India, live here for few days/months, sit in queue for days, live your life on rags, piss and shit in railway track, then do understand the validity of population control.
3.) Show me from a scientific study when exactly an life is created, Abortion is termination to a potential to life ( Cruel Life) not killing a life.

he but obviously was a sexual predator and pervert who started his form religion in order to preach to and get sexual gratification from his young female followers.

1.) Whats wrong with sex, did he have sex with mentally-challenged girls, did he sleep with under-age girls, did he force himself on any women( Did he rape ), did he promise heaven for sexual favors (Note: he never had any money in his pockets), he had consensual sex.
everybody slept with him only because he is Osho not for money,wealth, heaven or something else.

2.) He took sex as much as one approach pissing and shitting nothing more, make a religion out of pissing calling anyone pissing during daytime is a sinner, immediately u will see lot of prevision and people will derive pleasure from pissing secretly thats exactly what religion has made out of sexual repressions.

 
At August 27, 2011 8:44 PM, Blogger xfinenib Said ...

osho is a fucking idiot. no respect for anything or anybody. asshole

 
At September 06, 2011 5:18 AM, Blogger madhav Said ...

hahahahaha.. stupid people against osho..pity on them..but that's good.. they had read this topic.. before commenting... at least.. something had gone in unconscious mind ... these stupid people are those... who don't look things deeply..just a fucking reply.. satisfy their stupidness.. behave intelligently.. dont comment.. inquire.. see. look.. have a scientific mind.. idiots

 
At September 09, 2011 12:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

to undrstand Osho you gat to leave your mind and pick it later... Those who don't have confidence in themselves? Well.. you may lean to humanity guide... But if God is ALL in ALL who are you? Oooh,wait mom T answer? Will call you a follower, an orphan, obidient follower?... and if those names suit you PERFECTLY! Its ok? then you gat a lot to discover about yourself... Delete a word god and undertand if there is any change in reality about Yourself, and see if you have any info about this person god?.step out from belief... KNOW.. there is only one being...YOU and YOU alone WAKE UP

 
At September 27, 2011 10:40 AM, Blogger Ak Said ...

really a buddha is missunderstooding.dnt u all get the point. ...that osho said. .."don't bite my finger look where I m pointing."

 
At September 30, 2011 11:32 PM, Blogger Ranganatha.Rao Said ...

OSHO is great. God is beyond good and bad.God has no duality, God is one; even beyond one because when we say one, we think of numerical number one. If you think numerical number, then there are thousands of numbers to follow. Hence discard this ONE also. Then NOTHING remains. This is the MEANING of Sage OSHO'S saying that " THERE IS NO GOD". We should not assume that OSHO talks against God or OSHO contradicts his statement when he talks about the existence of God.IT IS NOT. Osho talks in the highest and highest and highest WISDOM when he said about the existence of God and negating God.Only if we see through the eye of highest WISDOM only then we can understand the REAL MEANING of Osho's talks.
Ranganatha.Rao

 
At October 12, 2011 8:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Said ...

Madhav is an asshole.

 
At October 26, 2011 2:44 AM, Blogger rp_007 Said ...

To understand the critics made by OSHO, we need to study lot about OSHO's books.We need to meditate and to find our core within, Then only we are able to know what he is saying and why he is saying!
Just with one paragraph, any new person will be really surprised and he looks OSHO as a mad man.

 

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